12 Signs of a Abuser

[Red Venus Moon]

I've had a few people come and ask me about this, so I thought maybe a few people in forums may be able to use this information. Please feel free to comment. I'm always here if anyone needs to talk!

(Credit: This information was given to me by my friend Amanda whom was a counsellor with The Domestic Violence shelter and the Crisis Center)

12 signs of a controlling personality and potential abuser

1. Jealousy
2. Blames others (including you) for his faults, him being the way he is
3. Blames cir***stances for his problems (it's not me, it's how life is treating me)
4. His behaviour is unpredictable and you don't know what to expect from him at any time, in particular how he may greet you
5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his tirade
9. His family resolves problems with violence, a history of violent behavior in his family, with brothers and sisters, against parents, his parents were argumentative and/or abusers
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.

Here is some numbers you can call for help...more will be added as I find them!

For USA calls:
The hotline for spouse abuse and domestic violence in the United States is 1-800-799-7233. They can refer you to women's shelters and other services in your area.
Here is another number: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

For UK calls:

The 24-hour freephone number is: 0808 2000 247

For Canada
Phone: (613) 957-2938
TTY Toll-free: 1-800-561-5643
Toll-free: 1-800-267-1291

For Australia
Phone: (03) 9486-9866
TTY: (03) 9417-2155

For Hotline for Muslim women and girls in the U.K
Phone: 0181 904 8193 or 0181 908 6715

For Sweden
Phone: 08-422 99 30

For Northern Ireland
Phone: (028) 90 249041
Helpline: (028) 90 331818

For Nottelefon Zurich
Phone: 01-291 46 46

For Provincial Association of Transition Houses of Saskatchewan
Phone: (306) 522-3515

For Scottish Women's Aid
Phone: 0131 475 2372

For Philippines
Phone: 430 4207/430 4227

[Elmo28mUk]

You know, men who act this way anger me SO much! If they weren't so destructive and horrible then I'd pity them.
Women also act in this way too, but I've been fortunate not to encounter one yet.

[Red Venus Moon]

yes.. I've seen a lot of women abuser also never a good thing on either side

[Sunset Dreamer]

wow.. 8 out of 12

[Red Venus Moon]

wow.. 8 out of 12

Not good at all ~hugs you~

[angelbabe]

5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his tirade
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.
all these apply to me from my past thank god they dont anymore i got out but took me a long time to leave

[AnGeL_EyEs42]

I've had a few people come and ask me about this, so I thought maybe a few people in forums may be able to use this information. Please feel free to comment. I'm always here if anyone needs to talk!

(Credit: This information was given to me by my friend Amanda whom was a counsellor with The Domestic Violence shelter and the Crisis Center)

12 signs of a controlling personality and potential abuser

1. Jealousy
2. Blames others (including you) for his faults, him being the way he is
3. Blames cir***stances for his problems (it's not me, it's how life is treating me)
4. His behaviour is unpredictable and you don't know what to expect from him at any time, in particular how he may greet you
5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his tirade
9. His family resolves problems with violence, a history of violent behavior in his family, with brothers and sisters, against parents, his parents were argumentative and/or abusers
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.

I agree with all of this.... been in this situation myself and it isnt fun....:reallysad This is good info for people to know, so many people out there that does not know the signs..And unfortunately there are so many going through this that continue to go through this, I finally got out of it, but so many that do not...

[Gabriel]

No offense but you should have continued the post with hotlines or websites on where to turn to if you're in an abusive relationship and want out.

[angelbabe]

No offense but you should have continued the post with hotlines or websites on where to turn to if you're in an abusive relationship and want out.

good idea but no offence all women that are abused love there partners and its very hard to leave them but eventually we do u just get summin in u and u go and dont think of the consequences i stayed with my husband for 3 and a half yrs because i loved him and thought he would change but he didnt it just got worse so eventually i cracked and said to myself i can be better without him i got strong and left it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do but now i am so glad i did it and i wish i hadnt waited all those yrs but when ur in that situation its easy for other ppl to say "i wouldnt put up with it" but when u love someone that much u think there words are the truth and u believe in them its very hard

[Gabriel]

good idea but no offence all women that are abused love there partners and its very hard to leave them but eventually we do u just get summin in u and u go and dont think of the consequences i stayed with my husband for 3 and a half yrs because i loved him and thought he would change but he didnt it just got worse so eventually i cracked and said to myself i can be better without him i got strong and left it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do but now i am so glad i did it and i wish i hadnt waited all those yrs but when ur in that situation its easy for other ppl to say "i wouldnt put up with it" but when u love someone that much u think there words are the truth and u believe in them its very hard

Well yeah they love their partner and list 99 other excuses to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Hence the point of hotlines and third parties help.

Love isn't the most important thing in the world.