Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fragilebird]

im 21 years old, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. we have a 2 year old together..
he had cheated on me with his ex when he first started dating. i forgave him
i was pregnant when i first found out about the messages he was sending her, he admitted to having feelings for her still..
he came up to me about 6 months ago and said she was messaging him again.. she told him that she understood he had a family now and wouldnt talk to the way she use to with him.. he asked me for permission to talk to her, i told him if i find anything going on again, it has to end. so time went on, they were talking like friends (he never deleted messages) everything was okay.. but then she started bugging him to answer some of her unanswered questions.. he would ignore her and change the topic.. but one day he gave in and admitted he loved her still.. we had a big arguement.. im still hurt over this, i dont know what to do.. his daughter loves him and i have to admit im scared to be alone.. but when i try to fix our relationship he says its me! he somehow manages to flip it on me.. and i feel like the bad guy.. he has his ex on block now.. but blocking someone of fbook doesnt mean you block that person from ur mind and heart.. we havent touched that topic in awhile...... should i bring it up again?.. it bugs me everyday.. i wake up feeling like i want him out of my house, but i also have my days where we are talking about marriage.. i love him a lot and i want to remain a family..
basically what im asking is for advice on what i should do? leave him? stay with him but have a serious talk?... my head is so sore from all this thinking.. i feel like im his second choice.. his ex will always have his heart..

[Boomerang]

What should you do? You should not let the opinions in an online forum be the end all, be all, especially with something this serious. I mean that respectfully. Good luck.

[temptation01]

to be with someone whom you know doesnt love you for the sake of your family?

or

divorse, he moves on, you move one- and your kid?

please dont have anymore kids with him until matters are sorted out


imo- well im onky 18 so

but if anything else helps- marriage counselling should help if you two want to make it through

[x_XKatieX_x]

im 21 years old, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. we have a 2 year old together..
he had cheated on me with his ex when he first started dating. i forgave him
i was pregnant when i first found out about the messages he was sending her, he admitted to having feelings for her still..
he came up to me about 6 months ago and said she was messaging him again.. she told him that she understood he had a family now and wouldnt talk to the way she use to with him.. he asked me for permission to talk to her, i told him if i find anything going on again, it has to end. so time went on, they were talking like friends (he never deleted messages) everything was okay.. but then she started bugging him to answer some of her unanswered questions.. he would ignore her and change the topic.. but one day he gave in and admitted he loved her still.. we had a big arguement.. im still hurt over this, i dont know what to do.. his daughter loves him and i have to admit im scared to be alone.. but when i try to fix our relationship he says its me! he somehow manages to flip it on me.. and i feel like the bad guy.. he has his ex on block now.. but blocking someone of fbook doesnt mean you block that person from ur mind and heart.. we havent touched that topic in awhile...... should i bring it up again?.. it bugs me everyday.. i wake up feeling like i want him out of my house, but i also have my days where we are talking about marriage.. i love him a lot and i want to remain a family..
basically what im asking is for advice on what i should do? leave him? stay with him but have a serious talk?... my head is so sore from all this thinking.. i feel like im his second choice.. his ex will always have his heart..

Look she is out to "get him" and she knows he still has feelings for her............. I think you know what you should do but are to scared to do the right thing.............
Read your question and ask yourself what you would say to someone (other than you) that was in in the same situation............
Most would say leave him..... he's not worth having if he can't live without an ex...there's no need for him to have her as a friend...especially if he knows it's going to upset you.....You and your child should be the most important thing to him and if that's not the case..... it's time to move on ...both for yourself and your child's benefit ..............don't waste your time on him...........

[LEØN]

Everything is fine in the end, if it's not fine.. then it's not the end.
-random guy

[Krissa<3]

im 21 years old, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. we have a 2 year old together..
he had cheated on me with his ex when he first started dating. i forgave him
i was pregnant when i first found out about the messages he was sending her, he admitted to having feelings for her still..
he came up to me about 6 months ago and said she was messaging him again.. she told him that she understood he had a family now and wouldnt talk to the way she use to with him.. he asked me for permission to talk to her, i told him if i find anything going on again, it has to end. so time went on, they were talking like friends (he never deleted messages) everything was okay.. but then she started bugging him to answer some of her unanswered questions.. he would ignore her and change the topic.. but one day he gave in and admitted he loved her still.. we had a big arguement.. im still hurt over this, i dont know what to do.. his daughter loves him and i have to admit im scared to be alone.. but when i try to fix our relationship he says its me! he somehow manages to flip it on me.. and i feel like the bad guy.. he has his ex on block now.. but blocking someone of fbook doesnt mean you block that person from ur mind and heart.. we havent touched that topic in awhile...... should i bring it up again?.. it bugs me everyday.. i wake up feeling like i want him out of my house, but i also have my days where we are talking about marriage.. i love him a lot and i want to remain a family..
basically what im asking is for advice on what i should do? leave him? stay with him but have a serious talk?... my head is so sore from all this thinking.. i feel like im his second choice.. his ex will always have his heart..

unfortunately when dealing with these topics, its extremely nuanced...I feel for you though I truly do. My own fiance did a similar thing to me with his ex [at the time his ex lived with me and was my best friend...kinda indescribable to find picture of ur best friend naked and taken from your own bedroom on your own computer on your boyfriends computer...] And the added factor of a child =[ I would maybe try to engage him in couples therapy? just to help open up a therapeutic line of communication and to have someone mediate between the two of you? Couples therapy, no matter what the couple is experiencing is always a healthy and helpful experience. I hope that helps, but always remember that you are not alone in your experiences. As I said, myself, even my best friend, are both going through similar variances of the same situation.

[Nexus.]

im 21 years old, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. we have a 2 year old together..
he had cheated on me with his ex when he first started dating. i forgave him
i was pregnant when i first found out about the messages he was sending her, he admitted to having feelings for her still..
he came up to me about 6 months ago and said she was messaging him again.. she told him that she understood he had a family now and wouldnt talk to the way she use to with him.. he asked me for permission to talk to her, i told him if i find anything going on again, it has to end. so time went on, they were talking like friends (he never deleted messages) everything was okay.. but then she started bugging him to answer some of her unanswered questions.. he would ignore her and change the topic.. but one day he gave in and admitted he loved her still.. we had a big arguement.. im still hurt over this, i dont know what to do.. his daughter loves him and i have to admit im scared to be alone.. but when i try to fix our relationship he says its me! he somehow manages to flip it on me.. and i feel like the bad guy.. he has his ex on block now.. but blocking someone of fbook doesnt mean you block that person from ur mind and heart.. we havent touched that topic in awhile...... should i bring it up again?.. it bugs me everyday.. i wake up feeling like i want him out of my house, but i also have my days where we are talking about marriage.. i love him a lot and i want to remain a family..
basically what im asking is for advice on what i should do? leave him? stay with him but have a serious talk?... my head is so sore from all this thinking.. i feel like im his second choice.. his ex will always have his heart..

Hey bud! This might be kind of late and you probably got it all sorted out but I wanted to throw an input in there anyways. So you two have a family together and he asked YOU for permission for talk to her again? That's a "Hmm" situation right there. Moving on to the confession of his love for this ex. He said he still loved her? I mean you have to put into consideration the amount of time and effort those to two put into their relationship. Even if you have a family with someone else doesn't mean you forget your past. In the famous words of Doug Ivester “Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” Now i'm not going to say that he is right for putting it on you because that's false but you have to understand you can't cease your feelings for someone, you can't help how you feel but you know when something isn't going to work. Now he has her blocked and isnt' trying to call her message her anymore so that's the first step. Anything after that is up to you, will you allow this issue to past? Or will you let it stop you from moving on to the future? He's already made his move and it's hard to trust just his word since he's cheated on you in the past but if you really care for him then ask yourself "Is this worth giving up on?" That's my input I hope it helps.

[ErgoProxy]

im 21 years old, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. we have a 2 year old together..
he had cheated on me with his ex when he first started dating. i forgave him
i was pregnant when i first found out about the messages he was sending her, he admitted to having feelings for her still..
he came up to me about 6 months ago and said she was messaging him again.. she told him that she understood he had a family now and wouldnt talk to the way she use to with him.. he asked me for permission to talk to her, i told him if i find anything going on again, it has to end. so time went on, they were talking like friends (he never deleted messages) everything was okay.. but then she started bugging him to answer some of her unanswered questions.. he would ignore her and change the topic.. but one day he gave in and admitted he loved her still.. we had a big arguement.. im still hurt over this, i dont know what to do.. his daughter loves him and i have to admit im scared to be alone.. but when i try to fix our relationship he says its me! he somehow manages to flip it on me.. and i feel like the bad guy.. he has his ex on block now.. but blocking someone of fbook doesnt mean you block that person from ur mind and heart.. we havent touched that topic in awhile...... should i bring it up again?.. it bugs me everyday.. i wake up feeling like i want him out of my house, but i also have my days where we are talking about marriage.. i love him a lot and i want to remain a family..
basically what im asking is for advice on what i should do? leave him? stay with him but have a serious talk?... my head is so sore from all this thinking.. i feel like im his second choice.. his ex will always have his heart..

If you love him and this is bothering you then yes, I think that you should ask him about it. And in my opinions if he loves someone else then he shouldn't be worth your time. Think about it, you have a child together, live together, then he turns around and tells you that he still has feelings for his ex. I would be as frustrated as you are and in my opinion that isn't right. I can't tell you what to do but this is my take on your situation.

[Jenna]

Get rid of him
Once a cheater always a cheater
God knows who else hes slept with, do you really want to take the chance of him giving you some kind of std? getting you pregnant?
if you think he'll stick around you're wrong

[! jinxy !]

Yeah, what Jenna said, If he cheated once he'll cheat again, for sure!!!

But again, u know him, we dont, its ur life not ours, its your decission to make, and u dont need online ppl to help u decide about your future, you have to do that by your own!!

Anyways, good luck hunni!!!