my choice 4 his future

likwidmoon_txf · 08-17-2007, 02:21 PM

my son, who is now 2, was born without bones to move his thumbs <congenital hypo plastic thumb> his thumbs just dangled there, he can not move them. he had a surgery in april 2007 on his left hand, they removed the thumb moved his pointer/index finger to where a thumb should be and they said it would act as a thumb. as is he has three fingers and a "thumb" on that hand now though there has been little progress with this new "thumb" . he had adapted to use his hands to pick up objects with his pointer and middle finger before the surgery and still does that with his right hand which has not been operated on yet. on the left hand that has had the surgery he now uses two of his inner fingers to grab things with and not his "thumb". so i ask should i have left his hand alone and just let him go on how he had adapted, or have surgery now on his right hand also to have it look like his left hand and not work the way the doctors say it will anyway? its a choice i have to make and a choice he has to live with. i wish i could fast forward time to ask him what he wants then rewind. what would you do?

Sunset Dreamer · 08-17-2007, 02:26 PM

I feel your pain.. It's hard making decisions that will affect your child's lifestyle. Unfortunately, you are the one that knows your child best, so you need to make this decision. If it was my son, I would get as much information as possible, possibly talk to other parents who have had children with this same problem. Ask the ones who opted for the surgery how their child is now, same with the parents whos child did not have this surgery. My question to you is this... if you do not have the surgery performed, can it be done at a later date with the same results? Maybe that could be an option?

Valley-Girl · 08-17-2007, 02:31 PM

I, nor anyone else here is qualified to answer that question. I know it is a very difficult decision to make, but you has his parent will make the right decision. Could they put in a prosthesis in his right thumb so that it does more then just hang there? It has been my experience that children, as well as adults, but especially children learn and adapt to life extremely well. Regardless of the choice you make, your family and your child will learn how to adapt and will be stronger for it. As hard as it is, I know you decision will be base on what is best for the function of your child. Get other opinions, talk to family, pastors, counselors. You love him more then anyone, each choice has it's benefits and it's down side. There is no perfect answer. But you will choose correctly, of this I am sure. Good luck hun, and always remember that you made the best decision with the information you had at the time. The future can trick you that way, but you don't live in the future, you live in the here and now.

twinkle toez · 08-17-2007, 03:00 PM

as a parent i know your pain
i think you know in your heart whats best for your son
you got great advice from sunset and valley girl
i just wanted to post and wish for you
the best out come and best decision.

btw ill turn you green when i can rep!

likwidmoon_txf · 08-17-2007, 04:00 PM

thank yall i am just still trying to grab views from all angles, to be in the situation and try and take myself away from the situation to get the best view. for some reason i feel like i have to be outside of the box looking in to find the answer, its just a tough one. thanks for the advice

themauler · 08-17-2007, 08:06 PM

the hardest thing as a parent is to deal with issues concerning our children ,as a parent myself ive learned that kids can overcome most anything ans as long as your by his side with love and support trust me in time something will work out have faith in technology and like sunset said look into finding out all the info u can and do your research..u seem like a loving parent and i know in your heart that you will do whatever u need to do to better your sons life i wish you all the best .. good luck and love that kid

twinkle toez · 08-17-2007, 08:33 PM

i just love the answers that are given in this threaad!
honestly i have never seen so many awsum and really
authentically nice people
i love how the people are in forums and especially chat!
there really is a lot of careing in here
im happy i read this post!