I'm worried about my son

I've taken out the computer of my 16 year olds room. I learned he's been looking at pornography and some other sites even worse!


These are the sites that really upset me. I demanded he give me the account names and passwords but he refused! He said he doesn't need to register for the first 3 and said registration was closed for the last one. Oh my God the FBI is most likely watching our computer!

I don't want my son talking with people like that, it seems they're all sick perverts, racists and drug users! I'm not sure if I'll ever let him on the computer ever again, he put the whole family's life at risk! He could have shown these sites to my other sons too. I feel bad for him when his father gets back, once he came home and we thought he was high on something so we grounded him for 1 month and didn't give him a allowance for 2!

How do I save my son from becoming one of these freaks? I cried when I saw what he'd been looking at, I feel like I've failed as a mother.

[vonnie]

u can start by removing those site addies from this thread as u r not allowed to post them in here,
why would the fbi watching ur come. and y is ur family;s lifes at risk. and why have u failed as a mom just because hes looked at a few porn sites.just causes hes viewd them doesnt meanhes gonna turn out bad,

[Miss Egypt]

First , i can feel what r u feeling now , but look .. I don't know more about ur son or ur family 2 know what make him 2 do that , but i will tell u something .. ur son is 16 years old as u said , im meaning he is teen & this level between 16 to 21 is a very dangerous , caz there r alot of changes in our bodies , also our minds ..... I'll not talk more , i think u know what i wanna say .
Another thing , u should treat that wiz love & trust ..... Try 2 talk wiz him more , discuss anything wiz him , become his friend ... Believe me u can make him a good person by lovely treatmen . Finally , if u saw the problem is a great i think u can ask a doctor ...

Best wishes 2 u & ur son

[Jenna]

So you come to a forum that has users younger then your son to post porn links?

[The Voice]

Originally Posted by WeNeedTrust

I've taken out the computer of my 16 year olds room. I learned he's been looking at pornography and some other sites even worse!


These are the sites that really upset me. I demanded he give me the account names and passwords but he refused! He said he doesn't need to register for the first 3 and said registration was closed for the last one. Oh my God the FBI is most likely watching our computer!

I don't want my son talking with people like that, it seems they're all sick perverts, racists and drug users! I'm not sure if I'll ever let him on the computer ever again, he put the whole family's life at risk! He could have shown these sites to my other sons too. I feel bad for him when his father gets back, once he came home and we thought he was high on something so we grounded him for 1 month and didn't give him a allowance for 2!

How do I save my son from becoming one of these freaks? I cried when I saw what he'd been looking at, I feel like I've failed as a mother.

You haven't failed as a mother, but you seem clueless regarding the adolescent male mind. Also:

1 - The FBI doesn't (or at least it shouldn't) give a crap who's visiting porn sites, unless it's a sexual offender who's doing it.

2 - Your family's life is not at risk because he looks at them, unless he gave out his name and address, etc.

Trust me, your son isn't the only 16 year old (or younger) looking at porn on the web. Hell, at 16 he's less than 2 years away from being able to view it legally.

I think you're overreacting. Just monitor his pc habits and put safeguards on the computer. It's not the end of the world.


EDIT - wtf I clicked on the links ... that's porn? They look like anime sites to me.

[forthelulz]

I find it a far greater issue that you monitor your son's Internet activity so closely. Honestly, if you suspect that your son is doing something illegal, then simply speak to him. Such an extreme invasion of his privacy is incredibly damaging to a 16-year-old boy. Taking away his computer, which is a major method of communication to teenagers these days, has the potential to make him withdraw into himself, making him an outcast from others. I have seen far too many cases of teenagers reacting in horrifying ways to being cut off from their friends to not think of this as a very serious problem.

Recently, a 17-year-old girl living down the street from me had her cell phone and Internet access taken away when her mother discovered that she had been receiving inappropriate (in the mother's opinion) text messages and e-mails from her boyfriend. The girl, having been totally isolated from her friends, withdrew from her family, refusing to eat with them (as it was a rule in her home that the family must eat breakfast and dinner together, she only ate one meal a day at school.) At school, which would, in our time, have been a place for us to connect with her friends, she felt outcast, not having had access to the news and chats that her friends were talking about. The girl eventually withdrew from everyone, feeling betrayed by her family and friends. She stopped speaking altogether, and finally realizing the girl was having serious issues, the parents returned the computer.

She hasn't touched it since.

She has done little, in fact, besides lash out at everyone around her. She horrified her parents by bringing a grown man in his early 20s home with her and loudly having intercourse with him for hours. Her parents, who slept in the next room over, were terrified to do anything, and were forced to just hear their baby being violated all night. Just days ago, she ran away from home, feeling no connection to anyone around her. Her parents had betrayed her, her friends had pushed her away; she truly felt that she had no reason to live, and she fell into drugs hard.

Children these days are sensitive, and take things far harder than we did at their age. I suggest you simply talk to your son about the sites he visits. Chances are that he will grow out of it soon anyway, as the sites are mostly filled with childish gross-out humor, just like the comedy films that they love to death and we just find repulsive.

[themauler]

i understand your concern as a parent but if you would have done your homework b4 you got the comp you wouldnt be posting this at all you are not a bad mother.. just didnt think it through .4 that u get time out in the corner

[JefferyParker]

Hello there everyone, long time lurker and first time poster.

I have to shed some light on your situation. I've had the same exact problem with my kids. I'm 39 now and that was years ago, you have to let your kids express themselves and give them privacy. I wanted to confiscate my sons computer for looking at a tutorial on how to produce drugs from his "organic" leftovers, but beforehand I called my family therapist (If you don't have one then get one, they are worth the money.) and she said that it was perfectly normal for teens to exhibit this behavior. Now my sons drinking orange juice from a champagne glass in his mansion. He is a wealthy businessman and sells his product "JeN-Kem" for profit. I couldn't be happier for my son and I do not regret my decisions in any way. I hope you will learn from my experience.

-Love
Jeff

I find it hard to believe my son could do such horrible things, but there's allot I don't know about him as it turns out. I can't believe the FBI hasn't already shut all these sites down.

[Sunset Dreamer]

Everyone who knows me, knows I am an overprotective mother. I also worry about what my children do on the internet. They are not allowed online unless me or their dad are home. However, I am not ignorant. I know that when "the cat is away, the mouse will play" I have checked, and found that my kids are sometimes online without us being home. You can block certain sites so your son can not access them. However, with all the porn sites out there, you are pretty much wasting your time. What you need to understand (my son is 15) is that your son is looking at these sites because he is curious. Not because he is going to turn out to be a s ex offender. I talk to my son often, and openly about s ex and about peer pressure etc. All we can do as parents,are teach our kids to the best of our ability , right from wrong, and educated them as to the potential problems that may arrise from internet use. Take a few days to calm down, then approach your son with your concerns. But, please, let him know that this is normal for someone his age. Try to understand that he is curious and this is normal. Good luck.