Coming Out Advice

[PhillyStorm]

Again, a friend of mine wishes to remain anonymous and asked if I could make a thread for him/her. Here you are love:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

im hoping some ppl here ( preferably the ones with some sense, and yes there are quite a few) will be able to give me some advice, maybe even tips/ideas. i will try not to be too long winded. basically i have come to terms with the fact that i fancy guys as well as girls, quite a while ago in fact, however ive kept it to myself, and not taken opportunity's to take it further, though a couple of times i have been very tested. up until now i thought i would just keep quiet, keep it to myself, and that would be that. But it doesnt seem to be as easy as that. its like a ticking inside of me, the want to share with ppl the way i really feel, but at the same time i am conscious of the reactions i am likely to get. Strangely enough i dont think the worst reaction would be from my female partner,but from my circle of friends. they are not shallow people, and im not worried about scaring them off, but i am worried about how their perception of me may change. i am after all still me. so thats it im not looking for attention, this isnt a fashion statement, im just considering being honest with myself by being honest with others.

so i would like any pointers as to reactions others have encountered, christ to be honest how the hell do i bring it up ??

Good thread hunny. I will answer in the same post. When I was 13 years old, I so wanted to come out to the people I loved the most and all of my friends but I guess I was also afraid of people thinking differently of me. So, I did not tell them. When I tured 16, I wanted to tell them again because a feeling isnide of me was saying and pushing me to tell and I was tired of hiding who I was. So, that same Thanksgiving, during dinner, I made a toast and an announcement about me being gay to my entire family. Alot of them cried and most were smiling not because of the fact that they were ashamed or thought I was a joke, it was because I finally was true about myself to them. They already knew, they were just waiting for me to tell them. The day after I told my friends and they had the same reactions. They loved me for me and loved the fact that I was honest to them about one of the most important things in my life, my sexuality. I was never happier.

[ali]

its not about another person its for philly just trying to hide things...
i don't care if aperson is gay or not cause i don't judge so don't make excuses


philly lose the excuses and ur mod power to try to hide and control it

[PhillyStorm]

Originally Posted by ali

its not about another person its for philly just trying to hide things...
i don't care if aperson is gay or not cause i don't judge so don't make excuses


philly lose the excuses and ur mod power to try to hide and control it

Huh? I am doing it for a friend you dumb bitc/h. He is not fully ready to come out so I did it for him. Everyone here knows I am gay. I need not to hide myself from anyone at anytime. You on the other hand need to go to bed and pray for brains you mental defect.

[·!¦[·JÁ§ØÑ·]¦!·]

Originally Posted by ali

its not about another person its for philly just trying to hide things...
i don't care if a person is gay or not cause i don't judge so don't make excuses


philly lose the excuses and ur mod power to try to hide and control it

why would Philly be trying to hide things,let alone his sexuality? people from chat/forums know that he is gay and have no problem with it, so in reality this thread was created for someone who asked him to do it (because he is not ready to come out quite yet).
If he was trying to hide it or wanted to I am sure he wouldn't hide it. He seems like the type of guy who is extremely comfortable with who he is inside and out.

[PhillyStorm]

Originally Posted by ·!¦[·JÁ§ØÑ·]¦!·

why would Philly be trying to hide things,let alone his sexuality? people from chat/forums know that he is gay and have no problem with it, so in reality this thread was created for someone who asked him to do it (because he is not ready to come out quite yet).
If he was trying to hide it or wanted to I am sure he wouldn't hide it. He seems like the type of guy who is extremely comfortable with who he is inside and out.

I just repped you. Thankyou hun. Everyone here knows who I am, what I like and how I act. I do not need to hide myself, especially when everyone already knows. She is dumber then a bag of donuts.

[·!¦[·JÁ§ØÑ·]¦!·]

Originally Posted by PhillyStorm™

I just repped you. Thank you hun. Everyone here knows who I am, what I like and how I act. I do not need to hide myself, especially when everyone already knows. She is dumber then a bag of donuts. :rollseyes:

welcome philly Sorry I kind of went off topic, I saw the thread and was curious and saw her comment

so back on topic..from a straight guy, that I have had a friend come out to me and other friends that he was gay. I am not one to judge at all, no matter what race you are or if you are gay or bi. The way I see it is as long as you are comfortable with who you are and what you prefer, you can come out whenever you are ready. A lot of people are going to have different reactions but at the same time if they know that you are comfortable and accept yourself then they will too (in time) be comfortable and will still appreciate you for who you are. Being gay shouldn't change how people see you as an individual, it's just your sexual preference, does not mean that it completely changes who you are on the inside. When my friend came out and told us, he just sat us all down and said something along the lines of "i know we're all buddies and really close and that you would never judge me nor think different of me, i just wanted to let all of you know that I am gay" I will admit it took awhile to get use to it because he never dropped any hints to the fact that he was gay. He is comfortable with who he is on the inside, and to be honest that's what matters the most. Just because he is gay doesn't mean I am going to stop being friends with him.

[toby]

I was like 11yrs old wen i knew i was different,i liked guys sexually and women like wer homework partners or shopping.

I actually told my mum wen i was 14 that i was gay just had to be, i meen i was different to all the boys in manyways, think the love of *****cat dolls give it away.

But hey one thing for certain and that is always love yourself always be true to yourself,and when the time is right and only when it is right for you just tell the world because nothing or no one can make you be any different to who ya true self is.

My mum when she was alive just said ta me "I know toby"and gave me the biggest hugg i ever had,my bros and my dad wer all fantastic and gave me all the lsupport i needed, also my friends are still with me today.

love tobes xxxx
Its just that coming to toterms with it i suppose, anyway just be strong and maybe it aint that bad at all, i hope you will find the level ya feel safe with and wish you the best mysweet.

[Cat]

Maybe the gays I mix with are a different breed to some of the loons in here, but all the ones I know came out once they were comfortable within themselves, and few batted an eyelid. Anyway if you're close to a family member or friend you instinctively know. I always have.

Seems this 'anonymous' friend's just enjoying the drama, as they are obviously a member of C-A's Internet Gay Community. Tell him/her to post their own threads, because even if users support or insult, tis only the net and none of us know who they are in real time.

[†°•· £olå Ðoe§nt Pç·•°†]

Why be anonymous? Its a message board, for heavens sake.

Why would you care what anyone online thinks? ...
Wouldnt this be the one place you REALLY could be honest about who you are???
~rolls eyes~


You have a partner, dont you think its time you were honest with them ffs.
People like you ANON annoy me, not because of who you choose/desire to be intimate with, but because you arent upfront and honest.
Your partner deserves to know the truth, at least then she can decide if she wants to be with someone who is bi-s3xual or not.
You owe her AT LEAST that.


As for 'how do i bring it up' .... You say 3 little words...
I AM BI

[huffy]

Originally Posted by ΩcatΩ

Seems this 'anonymous' friend's just enjoying the drama, as they are obviously a member of C-A's Internet Gay Community. Tell him/her to post their own threads, because even if users support or insult, tis only the net and none of us know who they are in real time.

for once i cant help but disagree with you furry, not that you care either way of course

but i dont see how you can say this person is enjoying the drama, when they
have asked philly to post for them anonymously...

..its not as if they are revelling in being the centre of attention, because theyhave done exactly the opposite, asked for advice anonymously ...

and as for the rest of your post, maybe just maybe this is >>shock horror<< a genuine request for advice, asked in >>shock horror<< the relevant forum .... and maybe the person involved is genuinely >>shock shock horror horror<< .... genuine...

sorry furry but (i know i know you couldnt care less about my opinion) the point of forums (apart from the "how do you feel" and "what pants are you wearing" threads ) is possibly to ask advice from people with experience, about a subject someone may feel to scared to broach in real.

you were just too flippant