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In need of assistance...(please read) |
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04-17-2008, 11:25 AM
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#1
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Not even a newbie yet...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: South Texas
Posts: 12
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In need of assistance...(please read)
Okay, so heres the deal.
I have a gay friend (boy). And he recently told me he likes me; and i have no idea how to react. I mean, i want to tell him I'm not gay or even bi, but he buys me things, and takes me out to eat. It would totally crush him. I've led him on this far, and telling him flat out would just be to much for him to handle.
So i don't know how to let him know how i feel.
And this weekend he wants to me spend the night at his house over at south padre island, and then go to a gay club that his friend owns. I don't know what to do 
And i know i know, It sounds like I'm just using him for free stuff. But I'm not.
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04-17-2008, 02:42 PM
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#2
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John O' Scots.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: City Of Wonder.
Posts: 38,731
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You were in the wrong for leading him on to begin with when you first realised he was interested.
Tell him gently that you appreciate all of his attention, but tell him gently that you're not interested in him in that way, only friendship, and to stop what he's doing and find someone who's gay/bi so he can do that with.
Yeah he may be hurt, and partly that's your fault.
As for spending a night with him, go for it.
He's a friend, and if you tell him that you're not interested, he'll take the hint.
But say you'll go and enjoy a night out with him.
So what if it's a gay bar? A lot of straight people venture into them, and not everyone who's a gay guy wants to hit on every man they see; don't think you're special that way. 
Tell him gently and state that you're still interested in his friendship, but that's all.
__________________
'Cause we were both young, when I first saw you. 
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04-17-2008, 02:47 PM
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#3
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A True Chatmaster
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 40° 34′ 33″ N, 84° 11′ 34″ W
Posts: 27,860
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For one thing, you can refuse to accept his gifts.
You made this situation into what it is by not telling him the truth in the first place. You're going to have to tell him at some point, so you may as well tell him before he becomes even more attached than he already is. Right now he's probably dreaming about what this weekend is going to be like. If you show up at his house and then tell him you're not interested he's going to be devastated, so you need to tell him before this weekend. You should call him and tell him right now.
Be a man and stop leading him on.
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04-17-2008, 03:03 PM
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#4
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I talk too much!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,553
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Don't lead him on.
As for the gay bar it's a surprisingly good place to pick up chicks. They go there with gay mates and you don't have as much competition as you would in a normal bar.
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04-17-2008, 06:55 PM
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#5
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Fitz William
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Pen island
Posts: 5,817
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hes a big boy.
telling people the truth may upset them, but they get over it.
__________________
хорошие милостивейшие большие шарики пожара.
"I'll automatic f ag your gander now in a minute if you don't shut up."
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04-17-2008, 07:01 PM
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#6
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Gold Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: America
Posts: 8,138
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It's better to tell him now than to lead him on more. If he likes you that much, at least give him the decency of letting him know that you're not gay, & that you like him only as a friend. He'll appreciate your honesty.
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04-18-2008, 06:50 AM
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#7
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I talk too much!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: born slippy
Posts: 2,318
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg ^_^
And i know i know, It sounds like I'm just using him for free stuff. But I'm not.
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yes you are
__________________
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
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04-19-2008, 01:32 PM
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#8
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Not even a newbie yet...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: South Texas
Posts: 12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by huffy
yes you are
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No, I'm not.
But you would know right? Being as you know how i am, and understand the situation completely.  I think not. 
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04-19-2008, 01:37 PM
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#9
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John O' Scots.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: City Of Wonder.
Posts: 38,731
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg ^_^
No, I'm not.
But you would know right? Being as you know how i am, and understand the situation completely. I think not. |
It's not the way he's gonna see it, unless you be a man and tell him you're not interested in him that way; only his friendship. 
__________________
'Cause we were both young, when I first saw you.
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04-19-2008, 09:12 PM
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#10
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Not even a newbie yet...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: South Texas
Posts: 12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luka
It's not the way he's gonna see it, unless you be a man and tell him you're not interested in him that way; only his friendship. |
Okay, thanks for the advice, i can handle it from here.
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