Tips on Coming out

TITAN · 05-21-2008, 12:09 PM

I was online and i found some tips on how to come out.

1) Dont give yourself a deadline for coming out, wait until you are comfortable with the facts.

2) Its best to start coming out to a close friend before coming out to a family member, your true friends will accept the facts. Those who may shun you were never really friends to begin with.

3) Never deliver the news through another person, family members or friends will much rather hear it from you directly.

4) Dont come out in a busy family gathering or birthday party, those times may not be the right time to tell someone.

5) Dont come out in an angry, agressive, or defensive way, that creates emotionally charged arguments where no one is really listening to each other.

6) Give family or friends a chance to absorb the news. Chances are that if you have a good relationship with them they will accept it.

7) Be patient

I hope these tips can be helpful and if you have any more to add please do so.

*if you feel that someone will physically hurt you or kick you out of your living arrangements if you tell them you are gay/bi then it may be wise not to tell them at all for your own safety *

Candescence. · 05-21-2008, 12:34 PM

Nice idea, 22/m/miamifl.
I'm sure this will come in useful to some people.

**PhillyStorm** · 05-21-2008, 02:19 PM

Very good thread indeed.

Guerilla · 05-21-2008, 02:41 PM

Yea, this thread seems very informative, What you listed is pretty much how i came out...But I may have a thing or two to add.

Once you come out to someone close, such as a Parent or Sibling, you will find that it is going to be easier to come out to everyone else you meet, you will feel more confident about your orientation and you will be less afraid to show, express or come out to other's.

Good luck for anyone else in the process of coming out, its a very brave and noble thing to do, takes strength and lots of courage. By hiding in the 'closet' you are alienating others more then you would be by coming out.

Honestly, Coming out is the best thing any gay/bi/les/tg can do, it makes you feel more normal, because you can be yourself around others who you came out too, without fear of being 'discovered' that your orientation is not 'normal' according to societies standards.

Ŧőйў™ · 05-21-2008, 03:44 PM

Not coming out anytime soon , I like things the way they are.

And i know my dad will go apeshiate.

Starry Sky · 05-21-2008, 03:47 PM

This was a good idea, especailly for ones that are wanting to come out and not sure of how to do it.

Good idea!!

**Cat** · 05-21-2008, 03:53 PM

Don't agree with No. 2.

If anyone's going to 'come out' it's best to do so first to a family member be it brother/sister/cousin/uncle etc. At least if the gossip about it they'll do so within the family unlike friends who will invariably tell another friend the secret. Next thing you know you go to school, college or work and people who'd normally greet you with a smile will probably smirk at you.

Guerilla · 05-21-2008, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat

Don't agree with No. 2.

If anyone's going to 'come out' it's best to do so first to a family member be it brother/sister/cousin/uncle etc. At least if the gossip about it they'll do so within the family unlike friends who will invariably tell another friend the secret. Next thing you know you go to school, college or work and people who'd normally greet you with a smile will probably smirk at you.

Well I agree, and disagree with your post, depending on what kind of friends you have the situation might turn out in 2 ways:

#1 they gossip and tell everyone
#2 they keep it to themselves

You should go with your gut instinct on who to tell first, people who you know can't keep a secret are not a best first choice.

I chose to tell my friends first, which they accepted it for the most part but were suprised, but they did not gossip to everyone, atleast not that I know of yet, but I wouldn't mind really since im out of the closet finally.

Aquilla · 05-21-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 22/m/miamifl

I was online and i found some tips on how to come out.

1) Dont give yourself a deadline for coming out, wait until you are comfortable with the facts.

2) Its best to start coming out to a close friend before coming out to a family member, your true friends will accept the facts. Those who may shun you were never really friends to begin with.

3) Never deliver the news through another person, family members or friends will much rather hear it from you directly.

4) Dont come out in a busy family gathering or birthday party, those times may not be the right time to tell someone.

5) Dont come out in an angry, agressive, or defensive way, that creates emotionally charged arguments where no one is really listening to each other.

6) Give family or friends a chance to absorb the news. Chances are that if you have a good relationship with them they will accept it.

7) Be patient

I hope these tips can be helpful and if you have any more to add please do so.

Who · 05-21-2008, 06:40 PM

i think thats the most retarded thing ive ever heard.

coming out is a personal battle and milestone, it has to be done in their own way.

maybe some people NEED a date.

maybe some people would rather come out to family first and friends later.

this just smells of stupid, unhelpful advice that someone pulled out of their ass and posted online, like "10 tips to look hot for summer!"

give me a fucking break.