2 problems

Thrashed · 06-08-2006, 08:46 PM

1) One of my best friends is going out with a guy who cheated on me twice and her twice and she is giving him another chance. I am not quite sure what to do because last time she tried to kill herself when he cheated and I know all he does is put her down and make her feel guilty. I really want to get her out of it without her getting hurt but because of the fact that i have dated him before I know that as soon as she wants to leave he will cry and cling and make her feel really guilty. What should I do?

2) Another best friend of mine is in an endless relationship with a guy. Everytime they go out he acts like he does not care, and his friends hate her, and whenever i try to talk to him he acts like an ass to me. She has asked him what he would do if she broke up with him for another guy and he just says he would't care. So they break up and she automatically goes into this state of wanting him back. I am stubborn as heck so if i say it's over, that means "it's over" so i don't understand why she keeps going back after they break up. she is doing it again though and the only reason he is taking her back is for *** and because it boosts up his popularity level. whenever a problem arises though she tosses me away and acts like she is pissed off at me. i care and do not want to see her happy but i do not want her to date this guy again either. what should i do?

yes i may seem pathetic but my friends are the only thing i have to care for and i have no idea how to handle this.....

Blue Eyed Devil · 06-09-2006, 10:24 AM

Seems that with #1, there's nothing you can do other than be there for your friend.
I can not understand why young people today put up with so much garbage while dating.
With #2 that guy is a class A jerk and should be dumped. It 'sounds' like your friend is sticking with him BECAUSE of his popularity or something. If his friends 'hate her' *and I can speak from a little experience on this one* then something's going on behind her back. There's obviously a much bigger, uglier picture there, trust me. She needs to move on, get away from him.

The only thing YOU can do, is be there for your friends and be honest when they turn to you and ask 'What should I do?'

Thrashed · 06-09-2006, 06:35 PM

well #1 is now finding out about more girls from last time he cheated on her which causes me a bigger problem and that is that she is suicidal and is willing to give it a go over this guy...which is another thing i'm afraid i don't comprehend.....but then again i would be more likely to shove the fact that i am still alive in his face.....but i have to keep constant watch on her and i do not know what to say to make her understand it's not worth it.....

for #2 i managed to set her up on a date with another guy she likes for friday but i do not approve of this guy either......i hate lose-lose situations......i don't know how to show her that she can do better than what she's picking......but to me this is only a minor problem compared to #1

Mezmerized · 06-09-2006, 07:37 PM

Hello thrashed... i do feel for what u are goin thru with your friends but u can not make them see what they are doin ... only they can if they choose to... your # 1 friend .. well bein very suicidal.. i dont feel anything u can say to her would stop her from doing herself... my ex has been suicidal for as long as i have known him and he lives on the egde all the time, i told him its one of the most selfish things to do but even that didnt work after awhile .. so i stopped tryin to talk him out of it and just told him if u feel thats what u gotta do then do it.. u cant stop them.. the only thing i could do was just be there and listen to him all the time and try not to say anything that puts them down in anyway .. but doin that all the time is a very emotional drainin thing and if u aint careful u get down low where they are too.. so all i can suggest is just be there and maybe suggest they seek professional help.. their problems are beyond u thrashed..

as for # 2 ... if they are your friends and dont want to listen .. then i dont think they are truly your friend... true friends listen to what u say and then they make decisions .. u cant run these ppls lives for them and alot of things do go wrong .. i can only suggest again that u be there for them and always be honest and dont be afraid to say what u think because true friends can say anything to one another.. i do wish u well in helpin ya friends.. good luck and tc , Mezzy

Nikolas · 06-09-2006, 10:07 PM

Women are such funny creatures when it comes to love and matters of the heart in general. Really unless you want to create a wedge between your friends you simply have to wait to pick up the pieces.

It sounds bad but its really not. It might even strengthen your relationship with your friends when the time comes.

Alternatively things might be different and your friends can live happily ever after.

Thrashed · 06-10-2006, 11:22 AM

Mezmerized- I see what you are saying about #1.....it makes scence but i still have that feeling that i should be able to do something about it......like my father used to tell me though you can't save everybody......as far as #2 that also makes scence it just frustrates me to see her take that kind of crap from guys.....

Nikolas- I know exactly what you are saying because everyone usually has me to fall back on when everything falls apart.....but with #1 i would dred having to pick up those pieces......#2 it might work with though because then i could work in the i told you so speach that i always do with her....