Extremely rough draft

[Superior_Specimen]

This is neccissary
The silenced silencing the silent
And the objective seeping through the cracks
Leaking their ever so sneaky past
Yearning to be heard
A past seeking to escape it's shell
Bottled so tightly life is spent finding ways to squeeze that leaky sponge ever so lightly
To turn that slow drip into a leaking faucet at every chance they get

It hurts them so badly to hold it in
Deep within it's withering them slowly
Depleating them until they are no longer aware of their surroundings
They no longer realize their volume
They no longer realize their rudness
And the intensity of their aspirations abound
Until the unconcious takes over

[Fearless™]

Originally Posted by Superior_Specimen

This is necessary
The silenced silencing the silent
And the objective seeping through the cracks
Leaking their ever so sneaky past
Yearning to be heard
A past seeking to escape its shell
Bottled so tightly life is spent finding ways to squeeze that leaky sponge ever so lightly
To turn that slow drip into a leaking faucet at every chance they get

It hurts them so badly to hold it in
Deep within it's withering them slowly
Depleting them until they are no longer aware of their surroundings
They no longer realize their volume
They no longer realize their rudeness
And the intensity of their aspirations abound
Until the unconscious takes over

Blue << spelling mistakes
Red << Uh...how do you silence the silent? I mean...they're already silent.
turquoise << a bit clumsy cause it's quite long compared to the rest
orange << that I just don't understand

Umm...I guess it's pretty good for a rough draft.
But I really didn't like it all that much.

[Μř ßłũę Šĸŷ]

I'm with Fearless.
I really didn't like it at all.
As for the spelling mistakes, they put me off from the word go.

[jamin]

Fearless I think what he/she meant in the orange bit is that
whoever the "them" are, they are holding something inside, and the longer they hold it in, the more it kills them inside, but slowly.

The whole post seems to be about holding in something from their past (feelings/emotions/maybe a secret). And if they happen to reveal a little bit of this secret, they have the urge to just let it all out, but can't.

I get the message but I think what you did with it was try to go a little too deep. Sometimes the best poems are the most simple ones. Too much depth and symbolism can sometimes confuse the reader, which is the exact opposite of what we are trying to achieve with poetry.

[°××Ŵ®åĭτħ××°]

honestly I enjoyed it I actually like the fact that it makes you have to think to find an underlying meaning. As for the silenced silencing the silent I think It could mean something different to the author but perhaps they meant something along the lines of one already being silent but thinking of speaking up until they see another whom is silent for the same or a similiar reasons. As far as the spelling goes the author did say it was a rough draft so yes that should perhaps be fixed up for the final copy. It may be a bit confusing to the reader BUT if you understand it superior thats all that really counts