i need advice

[campbellrae]

hi all. im new to this board. i am going through a rough thing right now. my mom is at the end of her time here on earth. i have two young girls and i feel like i have to be strong for them. i dont know what to tell them about grandma and if i should take them to go see her for a last time or if i want them to remember her as she was. plus i dont know how to deal with my depression and sadness while being strong for my kiddies and my hubby. i wonder if anyone else is or has gone through this type of situation. please let me know.

[-·=»‡«=·-Юåĝøŋ§ƒî®ê-·=»‡«=·-]

Thread moved to Advice forum.


I don't know how old your daughters are, but depending on their age, it might be a good idea to sit them down first and talk to them about what's going on, especially if they were close to your mother. See what they say, and how they feel. Taking them to see her one last time might be a good idea, again depending on how they feel and how they handle it. It'll allow them to say goodbye, and allow them a chance at closure. Allow them to express what ever emotion they are feeling. Be there for them.

As for maintaining your strength for your husband and kids, that's tough, but you can do it. Talk to your husband about what you are feeling. He should be there for you. Remember, even the tower of strength needs support sometimes. I hope this helps. Good luck and God speed.

[Old Man in Trench Coat]

Originally Posted by campbellrae

hi all. im new to this board. i am going through a rough thing right now. my mom is at the end of her time here on earth. i have two young girls and i feel like i have to be strong for them. i dont know what to tell them about grandma and if i should take them to go see her for a last time or if i want them to remember her as she was. plus i dont know how to deal with my depression and sadness while being strong for my kiddies and my hubby. i wonder if anyone else is or has gone through this type of situation. please let me know.

Not an easy thing to go through. I was never an emotional child. I bet I told my dad I loved him 3 times tops. The last time was three days prior to him having a heart attack and dying. I think you should take your daughters. They should have the chance to tell grand mother they love her. Death is a subject most of us like to avoid. But it is a process of life. You don't have to always be strong. Your husband will be strong for you. I don't know any cure for the depression other than going through the grief process. However remember that your mother will live on through you and her grand children and beyond that. Do not concentrate on just the end of life but embrace her life and all that she gave and all that she was. I hope I have helped. It is not easy but you will get through it.

[Mezmerized]

heya ... i totally agree with the old man.. u seem like you have got alot of love in you and thus that in the end is what will help u thru your difficult times .. remember to allow yourself to grieve do not hold it in, show your emotions.. your children need to see you have feelings and that it is part of life.. and always remember u aint eva alone in your sitiuations, there would be many others out there just like u and i feel you are a strong lady and u will get thru this.. as for depression ... only u can get yourself out of that, noone else can do it for u .. try using your mind to think only of good things or if it is possible help ppl who are in need .. more times than not that gets rid of alot of depression becoz u realize there are alot of ppl out there goin thru tough times... as i said u r strong and u got lotsa love in you so let your girls see her b4 she passes away and allow yourself to grieve and be patient ... time if allowed by us does heal many things .. i do wish u all the best and my deepest sympathies go out to you and your families.. you take good care and all the best to ya .. Mezzy

[SatansLittleHelper]

Originally Posted by campbellrae

hi all. im new to this board. i am going through a rough thing right now. my mom is at the end of her time here on earth. i have two young girls and i feel like i have to be strong for them. i dont know what to tell them about grandma and if i should take them to go see her for a last time or if i want them to remember her as she was. plus i dont know how to deal with my depression and sadness while being strong for my kiddies and my hubby. i wonder if anyone else is or has gone through this type of situation. please let me know.

Awwwww.......im very sorry to hear about your mom So sad and I feel for you........my dad died 6 years ago and I know how hard losing a parent can be.....I don't have any children.....and Im not sure how old yours are.....but I think if they are old enough to understand about people living on earth for a time then leave this earth to go to heaven (if your not a religious person, im sorry but thats the best idea i can give).....then I think you would be able to tell them about what is happening....and I really do think it would be a good thing for you to take your kids to tell their grandmother goodbye.....its gonna be a long haul for everyone.....but more for you and your hubby.................your kids .....depending on how much they understand about whats going on....will be sad for a while.....but kids tend to bounce back quicker than Adults......all I can say is try not to overwhelm yourself.....try to be there as much as you can for everyone in your family....but don't do it to the point where its just bringing you down even more.....if you have too...ask some good friends or family to help out with things....dont get too much weight on your shoulders......and at a time like this....anyone and everyone is willing and able to help out in one way or another.

[Candescence.]

Originally Posted by -·=»‡«=·-Юåĝøŋ§ƒî®ê-·=»‡«=·-

Thread moved to Advice forum.


I don't know how old your daughters are, but depending on their age, it might be a good idea to sit them down first and talk to them about what's going on, especially if they were close to your mother. See what they say, and how they feel. Taking them to see her one last time might be a good idea, again depending on how they feel and how they handle it. It'll allow them to say goodbye, and allow them a chance at closure. Allow them to express what ever emotion they are feeling. Be there for them.

As for maintaining your strength for your husband and kids, that's tough, but you can do it. Talk to your husband about what you are feeling. He should be there for you. Remember, even the tower of strength needs support sometimes. I hope this helps. Good luck and God speed.

^^ I absolutely agree with that.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Samoshi]

It's always hard losing a loved one, I lost my great Aunty last year who I was really attached to. I think your childrean should see her for the last time, I think your mum would appreciate seeing her grandchildren for the last time.
When my great aunt passed, i got help from my family and friends. I think, the best thing to do, is to spend alot of time with your mum before she goes.
After the passing, get a pet, that's what I did. I named it after my aunties middle name, It helped me get through the depressing times. Having a pet will slowly help the depression, and soon it will be all gone.
I hope you found this helpful, and I'm really sorry to hear you almost losing your mother. But with faimly and friends, you will not stay depressed. Trust me.