I can't do emo?

[Kiari]

Someone told me that I couldn't do an emo poem if it killed me. Well, I can't resist a challenge, so we'll see how this turns out.







Play dead again. It just might stop before the end.
If I pretend you may not see the pain I'm in.
So close to me, can't tell what I'm supposed to be.
Don't stop to breathe, can't bear to think what you might see.
This tourniquet, these blessed hands around my head
So I can keep from...
Bleeding.

I've got to find a way to stop before it starts.
Finding its way through my veins right to my heart.
I never thought it something everyone could see.
And it kills within me.
I won't leave without a trace.
I won't be erased.

It's in my head, I can't forget what you once said.
The words I read, the fractured soul that I can't mend.
Right here with me, killing the void I used to be.
Remembering through fading sparks of memory.
Two broken hands lift seven wounds and fight to stand
To keep the lungs from..
Caving.

And it kills within me.
Turning. It's moving. Escaping right through me.
I care not. I bleed not. For you I believe not.
I play dead.












Hmm....Let me do the one I just did for our loveable poet, The Ghost. Chris, you left when I recited this for you. Here, now you can read it.







There you stood in disbelief,
trying all you could to see through these lies
And every word that I could breathe,
would find you more inclined to leave, but I tried
And knowing what I've done to you,
with every thought you suffer through
My heart as black as evil can
And everything I could have been,
erased by what I wanted then
I couldn't think a lesser man

All the delicate ways
That I deepened our graves
My apology pales
Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow

So now I reap what I have sewn,
and any rapture I had shown has bled dry
And I walked the streets alone,
accepting the pain I'd never known,
as you died
Then I hurt myself to see it too,
to feel the knife put in you
My heart as broken as my ways
I never should've let it pass,
this fall was never meant to last
The reason gone and damage stays










Oppinions please.

[Melannie]

Both of them are really good.

[Kiari]

Thanks.

I think I like the second better though. the first one is a little more abstract.

[Tiffy!! =D]

I agree. They are very good. Like always

[Steph]

their both pretty good...i like the second one more though...good poems!

[Onion Lick]

I actually really like the first one. Some parts are boring and others are really good. Nice job though.

[Kiari]

Thank you, I value your oppinions highly.

[Mikey.]

THAT IS SO GOING ON MYSPACE!

Sorry was being random...very nice poems well written

[Mystic]

Originally Posted by FiveSixFour

Hahaha. My god you suck at poetry. Give up. Nobody cares but random CA losers. Show this to a professional and they'd laugh in your face. Once again, give up. Actually, go one step further and give up on life itself.

this is not a professional poetry forum its a general forum board with lots of "different" forums ...
the literature forum is a place where other users can post their work for other users to read and give decent criticism on ...


well done kiari ... for a "non" emo ...

[ShelbY*]

Originally Posted by FiveSixFour

Hahaha. My god you suck at poetry. Give up. Nobody cares but random CA losers. Show this to a professional and they'd laugh in your face. Once again, give up. Actually, go one step further and give up on life itself.

I'd like to se you write something better....

Kiari nice poems, I also prefer the 1st one