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07-18-2006, 04:09 AM
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#1 |
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Junior Chatterbox
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: In the back of your mind...Feeding off of your fears..
Posts: 695
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Turned out it was fake
I lived in a world That seemed too good As it turned out It was a fake It was a trick Played on my mind By two evil men Both in big cloaks I fought and I fought day after day trying to find my true self but you know what as it turned out I had it all along with my friends beside me Seemed it wasn't a trick nor was it a fake I'm entering that in a Member of the Month contest on KHRF and..I need to know what you guys think of it..
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You deserve nothing less...than a seizure for your crimes!   Last edited by Nightmare -Hellish Knight; 07-18-2006 at 08:52 PM. |
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07-18-2006, 04:51 AM
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#2 |
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Newbie
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 77
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ok....
Well I like the concept....Kind of short. It needs maybe more raw emotion.
You have the canvas..now work on the picture alittle more...  just my thoughts on it. |
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07-18-2006, 05:46 PM
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#3 | |
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Junior Chatterbox
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,047
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Quote:
That is an AWESOME metaphor.... (writes down) ^^^ I agree with this dude.
EDIT: Amy, it's best to be honest. If you sugar coat junk they'll never learn from mistakes.
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You and me, baby. We make a limb. |
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