#1 Chat Avenue Message Boards  

Go Back   #1 Chat Avenue Message Boards > Creativity Forums > Literature Forums
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Gallery Arcade Donations Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-18-2006, 03:09 AM   #1
Nightmare -Hellish Knight
Forum Moderator
 
Nightmare -Hellish Knight's Avatar

 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Diverse City,Hellview
Posts: 763
Nightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond reputeNightmare -Hellish Knight has a reputation beyond repute
Default Turned out it was fake

I lived in a world
That seemed too good
As it turned out
It was a fake
It was a trick
Played on my mind
By two evil men
Both in big cloaks
I fought and I fought
day after day
trying to find
my true self
but you know what
as it turned out
I had it all along
with my friends beside me
Seemed it wasn't a trick
nor was it a fake

I'm entering that in a Member of the Month contest on KHRF and..I need to know what you guys think of it..
__________________

That wasn't very nice...I do believe you killed my hat.




What's necessary in a fight isn't fear. Nothing can be born of that. When you dodge, "I won't let them cut me." If you protect someone, "I won't let them die." If you attack, "I will kill them." Well, can't you see the resolve to kill you in my sword?


Last edited by Nightmare -Hellish Knight; 07-18-2006 at 07:52 PM.
Nightmare -Hellish Knight is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 07-18-2006, 03:51 AM   #2
E-G-muscle
Newbie
 
E-G-muscle's Avatar

 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 77
E-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond reputeE-G-muscle has a reputation beyond repute
Arrow ok....

Well I like the concept....Kind of short. It needs maybe more raw emotion.

You have the canvas..now work on the picture alittle more...

just my thoughts on it.
E-G-muscle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2006, 04:46 PM   #3
Alliegator
Keyboard Killer

 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kneller's Happy Camp
Posts: 1,343
Alliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond reputeAlliegator has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by E-G-muscle
You have the canvas..now work on the picture alittle more...

That is an AWESOME metaphor.... (writes down)


^^^ I agree with this dude.

EDIT: Amy, it's best to be honest. If you sugar coat junk they'll never learn from mistakes.
__________________

I wanted a scantily-clad female in my signature as well.



High-diddle-dee-dee, goddаmn, the pirate's life for me.
Alliegator is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 1999-2010 - #1 Chat Avenue - Free chat rooms for adults, gays, kids, singles, teens and more.