Mhm yuh

[Mark]

i never knew what i can feel
yet alone girl, what you can steal
take my heart and keep it close
i don't mind, you need it most

hold my hand, so sweet so tight
i promise baby, we'll make it right
I'll catch you girl when you fall
run to the phone, when you call

i sware baby girl, just me and you
I'll fight you fears, we'll make it through
kiss your lips, feel your touch
baby girl, i want you so much

baby girl, your god damn fine
one more wish girl, make you mine
so hold me tight and don't let go
coz baby girl, i love you so

- not mine.

[Steph]

i like it...good poem

That was lovely. D:

[Fearless™]

wow! That's a very sweet poem! Good job! I love the first stanza << really good (:

[Kiari]

Originally Posted by M α я k__x

i never knew what i can feel
yet alone girl, what you can steal
take my heart and keep it close
i don't mind, you need it most

hold my hand, so sweet so tight
i promise baby, we'll make it right
I'll catch you girl when you fall
run to the phone, when you call

i sware baby girl, just me and you
I'll fight you fears, we'll make it through
kiss your lips, feel your touch
baby girl, i want you so much

baby girl, your god damn fine
one more wish girl, make you mine
so hold me tight and don't let go
coz baby girl, i love you so

Um, The part that's red. It sounded like you just stuck that in there because it rhymed with the first line, it doesn't make sense.

The line that's blue made sense, but it more of a "I went the the list of the consenants (bcdfgh...) and came to "c" so I put 'call' and made a line in front of it" type thing.


The rest was really good, fix those to lines and it's perfect, in my oppinion. =D