What should I do??

Crisybelle · 08-05-2006, 04:58 AM

I have recently found myself in a dilemma....... The night after I finalized my divorce I went to the bar (yes I did go alone) to have a few drinks in celibration of finaly being free!!! However, for some odd coincidence I ended up going back to a guys place to have a little "fun". Unfortunately because neither of us had planned on doing anything, neither of us had any protection. Now because I had my tubes tyed after I had my second child, I didn't worry about the one thing I now know I should have worried about. It has been just over a month now since that night and I have just recently found out that I am pregnant. Seeing as I have had constant contact with this person since our little fling normaly this wouldn't be a problem, we would just decide weather or not he wished to keep this child and weather or not I would ofcourse, however, he is in the marine corps and he is leaving on his second tour of duty in Iraq in one week from yesterday!!!! HELP!!!! I have told him that I am and he has told me he would like to keep the baby, but I don't want him to have to have one more thing to worry about while he is over there! Time is running out! I go into surgury on Monday to have the baby removed from my tubes and I need to give the doctor an answer by then!!! I am almost thinking that it would be easier to just tell this man that the baby was lost durring surgery and not keep it..... it would be his first child, and I feel like his first child should be had with someone that he loves..... not someone that he basicaly had a one nite stand with!!! PLZ some one tell me what i should do!! I am so confused!! I want to do what's best for everyone but I don't know what the best thing is at this time!!!

HeDevil · 08-05-2006, 05:02 AM

Nobody should abort an innocent baby. You are being extremely selfish. It is not the child's fault that you are irresponsible. And you should not expect this man to give up his career.

If you don't want the kid, GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION after it's born.

Crisybelle · 08-05-2006, 05:05 AM

i never said anything about this man giving up his career!! i don't want him to know about the baby andfor the simple fact that i don't think it's fair to him to give up his life or his career!! as far as aborting the baby............ i wouldn't have had my first child at 19 if i was ok with aborting one! I would probubly keep the baby but i probubly wouldnt tell him that i had it, at least not until he came back from over there!

HeDevil · 08-05-2006, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crisybelle

Why would I lie about something like that!!!???? I am sorry if you think that life is all fine and dandy!!! But it's not and I only posted that in the hopes of finding some real advice!!!! If you don't have any advice to give than maybe you shouldn't reply!!!

Well, I believe you.
I also believe that your thinking is selfish to even consider lying about aborting an innocent baby.
With deciet like this, it does not surprise me that you are divorced.

BTW, I do believe you. Pay no mind to Philip. He thinks everyone is a liar.

Crisybelle · 08-05-2006, 05:15 AM

not that it's any of your buisness but i left my husband and i divorced him because he was beating the crap out of me and our children on a daily basis!!! don't even start to say that i am selfish!!! i only married the ass hole because i was having his child!!! and as far as this baby is concerned is it wrong to not want the guy to have to worry about having a child (his first child!) while he is over there??? i would much rather he worry about taking care of himself and comming home safe!!! i can take care of myself and my children!!! when he comes home we could discuss the rest i just don't think he needs to worry about anything but taking care of himself and getting home to his family safe!! and when i say family i don't mean myself and my kids i mean his mother and father and brothers!!!

MooGooGaiPan · 08-05-2006, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crisybelle

not that it's any of your buisness but i left my husband and i divorced him because

Sweets, you made it all of chat avenue's business by posting your problems on this site.
If you truly knew how to take care of yourself, you would not be seeking advice on THE WEB.

**Cat** · 08-05-2006, 11:23 PM

If you had your tubes tied after your second child, and the foetus is in the tube then you have what's known as an ectopic pregnancy, and regardless of whether you wanted to keep the baby or not, it would be removed anyway.

Sephiroth 666 · 08-05-2006, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeDevil

Nobody should abort an innocent baby. You are being extremely selfish. It is not the child's fault that you are irresponsible. And you should not expect this man to give up his career.

If you don't want the kid, GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION after it's born.

...................it might be murder to abort but i find it for the best cuz u already have two kids and 22..............just abort it............if anyone calls u a murderer......just ......tell them to......screw....them......selfs........

themauler · 08-07-2006, 10:02 AM

i just find this sad that people never think of the possible outcome i wish u well and you should tell the guy he desreves that

Your Favorite Crush · 08-07-2006, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crisybelle

I have recently found myself in a dilemma....... The night after I finalized my divorce I went to the bar (yes I did go alone) to have a few drinks in celibration of finaly being free!!! However, for some odd coincidence I ended up going back to a guys place to have a little "fun". Unfortunately because neither of us had planned on doing anything, neither of us had any protection. Now because I had my tubes tyed after I had my second child, I didn't worry about the one thing I now know I should have worried about. It has been just over a month now since that night and I have just recently found out that I am pregnant. Seeing as I have had constant contact with this person since our little fling normaly this wouldn't be a problem, we would just decide weather or not he wished to keep this child and weather or not I would ofcourse, however, he is in the marine corps and he is leaving on his second tour of duty in Iraq in one week from yesterday!!!! HELP!!!! I have told him that I am and he has told me he would like to keep the baby, but I don't want him to have to have one more thing to worry about while he is over there! Time is running out! I go into surgury on Monday to have the baby removed from my tubes and I need to give the doctor an answer by then!!! I am almost thinking that it would be easier to just tell this man that the baby was lost durring surgery and not keep it..... it would be his first child, and I feel like his first child should be had with someone that he loves..... not someone that he basicaly had a one nite stand with!!! PLZ some one tell me what i should do!! I am so confused!! I want to do what's best for everyone but I don't know what the best thing is at this time!!!

Seems to me, that even in this day and age, there are still risks to having unprotected s3x. I could actually post a novel on this, but I won't.
The question is, Do you want the child? and even will you be able to keep from having it aborted due to this surgery? That's how simple it really is.....
Yes, it would be peachy for the guy to have a child with someone he loves, not just a fling. [props for at least knowing that] But the thing is, that should have been something both of you had thought of before the conception. Heat of passion my ass [ no offense to the wild side out there] but there are still STDs. True, you didn't think you could get pregnant, but having your tubes tied is still not 100%, especially after 5 years. Bottomline is, it's done and the question should be Do YOU want that baby?

AND even if the answer is no [by you] think of him, think of all the parents out there that would do almost anything to have a child but can't have their own.