questions about bi -straight relationships

kat6 · 08-12-2006, 11:36 PM

I'm new here and looking for a little insight. Please be patient as I do not mean to offend !!

I'm a straight girl, 35, and I started a relationship with a bi-man. He was very upfront about it and I really liked that about it. But I am *very* insecure about it. I had a male friend tell me that the only reason a bi-man *really* gets serious about a woman is to have children. I think that is ridiculous -- but what do I know ?

Any insight on how to proceed with the relationship ? Out of ignorance, I'm sure, I keep thinking that he is just calling himself bi to try and convince himself he isn't gay (like it matters!). He says he "doesn't feel that way" - but while we talk about it sometimes, he is not completely comfortable with he sexuality, maybe that is why is bothers me so much ??

Any insight would be great!

**PhillyStorm** · 08-13-2006, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kat6

I'm new here and looking for a little insight. Please be patient as I do not mean to offend !!

its okay welcome

Quote:

I'm a straight girl, 35, and I started a relationship with a bi-man. He was very upfront about it and I really liked that about it. But I am *very* insecure about it. I had a male friend tell me that the only reason a bi-man *really* gets serious about a woman is to have children. I think that is ridiculous -- but what do I know ?

well hun i have never heard that about bi men, but i have heard of them to very very insecure with their sexuality meaning they cannot choose what they want. if he really likes you then that should be enough for now, but sit down and talk to him about that issue and see what he says.

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Any insight on how to proceed with the relationship ? Out of ignorance, I'm sure, I keep thinking that he is just calling himself bi to try and convince himself he isn't gay (like it matters!). He says he "doesn't feel that way" - but while we talk about it sometimes, he is not completely comfortable with he sexuality, maybe that is why is bothers me so much ??

well hun, im not sure what to tell you. i myself am i gay ,male and very happy with who i am. maybe he is in denial and that is why he is with you or maybe he really is in like with you. noone will know but you and to find out is by talking to him as i have stated before. that is the only way you'll know

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Any insight would be great!

you have my insight

have a good one hun and i hope all goes well with you and your choices

Luka · 08-13-2006, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kat6

I'm new here and looking for a little insight. Please be patient as I do not mean to offend !!

First off, welcome to Chat Avenue.

Quote:

I'm a straight girl, 35, and I started a relationship with a bi-man. He was very upfront about it and I really liked that about it. But I am *very* insecure about it. I had a male friend tell me that the only reason a bi-man *really* gets serious about a woman is to have children. I think that is ridiculous -- but what do I know ?

If you're very insecure about this status, why do you really like the fact that he is bisexual? I kind of agree, in the part I have bolded. I agree because personally I feel that a man who claims to be bisexual, when he's really gay, IS ashamed and doesn't want to be known as a homosexual, therefore, he wants to be with a woman to have children like any other ''normal'' (meaning, straight), men. We all have our opinions, you say you think it's ridiculous, I don't. It seems he wants both ends; i.e being gay and wanting children. So he doesn't miss out on the ''normal'' essentialities of life; kids. That's my opinion anyway. =/

Quote:

Any insight on how to proceed with the relationship ? Out of ignorance, I'm sure, I keep thinking that he is just calling himself bi to try and convince himself he isn't gay (like it matters!). He says he "doesn't feel that way" - but while we talk about it sometimes, he is not completely comfortable with he sexuality, maybe that is why is bothers me so much ??

Any insight would be great!

Dump him. That's what I'd do if I was in your situation. I wouldn't go for a bisexual anyway, they can always turn round and say that they're straight and leave you heartbroken. But in procedure with your relationship, I think it's best that you have a sitdown with him and ask him if it's you he really wants to be with and have kids, NOT for the fact he wants to hide his homosexuality. If he's not comfortable with his sexuality, then you'd be best to get it out in the open with him. That's why it's bothering you so much as you're at a loss as to whether he's straight, gay or bisexual; even though he's told you he's straight.
Good luck with you relationship, btw.

Oh and before I forget, I saw you asked a question in Gay Chat earlier: Yes it's for gay/lesbian/bisexual people, straight too. =/ They're just bi-curious.

**PhillyStorm** · 08-13-2006, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luka

First off, welcome to Chat Avenue.

If you're very insecure about this status, why do you really like the fact that he is bisexual? I kind of agree, in the part I have bolded. I agree because personally I feel that a man who claims to be bisexual, when he's really gay, IS ashamed and doesn't want to be known as a homosexual, therefore, he wants to be with a woman to have children like any other ''normal'' (meaning, straight), men. We all have our opinions, you say you think it;s ridiculous, I don't. It seems he wants both ends; i.e being gay and wanting children. So he doesn't miss out on the ''normal'' essentialities of life; kids. That's my opinion anyway. =/

Dump him. That's what I'd do if I was in your situation. I wouldn't go for a bisexual anyway, they can always turn round and say that they're straight and leave you heartbroken. But in procedure with your relationship, I think it's best that you have a sitdown with him and ask him if it's you he really wants to be with and have kids, NOT for the fact he wants to hide his homosexuality. If he's not comfortable with his sexuality, then you'd be best to get it out in the open with him. That's why it's bothering you so much as you're at a loss as to whether he's straight, gay or bisexual; even though he's told oyu he's straight.
Good luck with you relationship, btw.

Oh and before I forget, I saw you asked a question in Gay Chat earlier: Yes it's for gay/lesbian/bisexual people, straight too. =/ They;re just bi-curious.

listen to him he's good at relationships

Dark@ngel · 08-14-2006, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kat6

I'm new here and looking for a little insight. Please be patient as I do not mean to offend !!

We are always patient , Especially with New Members...
Welcomes...

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I'm a straight girl, 35, and I started a relationship with a bi-man.

Bi is Curious...?

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He was very upfront about it and I really liked that about it. But I am *very* insecure about it. I had a male friend tell me that the only reason a bi-man *really* gets serious about a woman is to have children. I think that is ridiculous -- but what do I know ?[

Him, being Upfront is, Great ... But being Bi as they Claim, they can always turn to be with a guy. It is not about , reason of having kids, coz there are alternative ways of this process...
That fact that You are insecure about this is, The real Question.... if you have an insecurity , why go ahead , that is like in any relationship..

Quote:

Any insight on how to proceed with the relationship ? Out of ignorance, I'm sure, I keep thinking that he is just calling himself bi to try and convince himself he isn't gay (like it matters!). He says he "doesn't feel that way" - but while we talk about it sometimes, he is not completely comfortable with he sexuality, maybe that is why is bothers me so much ??

Any insight would be great!

What is it that you really want to do ...What do you feel is the best option , the right direction .. We can sit here and give you 2000 reasons, but are they right , the only one that know what is right , and what you feel is You ..
Bi-sexuality , is a quick fix in situations of real Homosexuality , but apparently there are people that feel for , both ....

Whatever you decide I wish you well , and Maybe you should ask him a few questions on the way he really feels , and the you answer if, you really want this ...?

Wishing you well....

Luka · 08-14-2006, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhillyStorm

listen to him he's good at relationships

Lol and I haven't even been in one yet.

But thanks.

**PhillyStorm** · 08-14-2006, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luka

Lol and I haven't even been in one yet.

But thanks.

oh yea

Dark@ngel · 08-14-2006, 01:34 PM

Let's keep Thread On Topic

Aquilla · 08-14-2006, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kat6

I'm new here and looking for a little insight. Please be patient as I do not mean to offend !!

I'm a straight girl, 35, and I started a relationship with a bi-man. He was very upfront about it and I really liked that about it. But I am *very* insecure about it. I had a male friend tell me that the only reason a bi-man *really* gets serious about a woman is to have children. I think that is ridiculous -- but what do I know ?

Any insight on how to proceed with the relationship ? Out of ignorance, I'm sure, I keep thinking that he is just calling himself bi to try and convince himself he isn't gay (like it matters!). He says he "doesn't feel that way" - but while we talk about it sometimes, he is not completely comfortable with he sexuality, maybe that is why is bothers me so much ??

Any insight would be great!

While I suspect this is a double account, like the ones I never had that was banned Etc, not that they was me at all, cos I dont know what me is talking about!

Back on the subject! You are answering your own question as I see it!

He likes men also.......SURE!

Get rid of him if he cant be honest! He may be gay! he may be very promiscuous! that puts you at risk if he is not being honest.

Let me put it this way, does he love you and want to be with you always, 100% loyal to you, if he dont, give him the big heave hoe! NOW!

Rob!!! · 08-14-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aquilla

While I suspect this is a double account, like the ones I never had that was banned Etc, not that they was me at all, cos I dont know what me is talking about!

Back on the subject! You are answering your own question as I see it!

He likes men also.......SURE!

Get rid of him if he cant be honest! He may be gay! he may be very promiscuous! that puts you at risk if he is not being honest.

Let me put it this way, does he love you and want to be with you always, 100% loyal to you, if he dont, give him the big heave hoe! NOW!

me and aquilla use to have something very special until he went to boston and came back with spunk stains on my dress