My mom is gay, I am hurt and confused please help....

[Star926]

Hi everyone,

If anyone has any advice I would be happy to hear it. I recently found out in late october that my mom is a Lesbian. For years I wondered if she was or not. Then she finally told my sister-in-law and she told me. At first I did not know how to handle it I was mad at my mom, then I was upset and confused. I am still confused at times because I wonder why she had me since she is a lesbian. She was with a lady for almost 20 years and then they broke up, and she talks to me about it but I feel weird about talking to my mom about her ex-girlfriend(s). My best friend that I met in high school is a lesbian and I love her to death, and she ask me if I loved my mom before and I said yes and she asked me if I still love my mom and I said yes. But as the days go on I wonder why???? why she had me, why she did not tell me sooner, just why on everything. If I am in the wrong forum I am sorry I am just trying to find a person who might be able to help me cope and understand this a little better. Happy New Year to All.

[twinkle toez]

[quote=Star926;2268081]Hi everyone,

If anyone has any advice I would be happy to hear it. I recently found out in late october that my mom is a Lesbian. For years I wondered if she was or not. Then she finally told my sister-in-law and she told me. At first I did not know how to handle it I was mad at my mom, then I was upset and confused. I am still confused at times because I wonder why she had me since she is a lesbian. She was with a lady for almost 20 years and then they broke up, and she talks to me about it but I feel weird about talking to my mom about her ex-girlfriend(s). My best friend that I met in high school is a lesbian and I love her to death, and she ask me if I loved my mom before and I said yes and she asked me if I still love my mom and I said yes. But as the days go on I wonder why???? why she had me, why she did not tell me sooner, just why on everything. If I am in the wrong forum I am sorry I am just trying to find a person who might be able to help me cope and understand this a little better. Happy New Year to All.
[/quoteshe probably didnt tell you sooner because she was afraid of your reaction.
i think that you should realize your mom and her sexual preferance has nothing to do with her love for you.she loves you the same now as before you found out about her.she was probably waiting for the right time to tell you ....and it never came . we are all human and im sure your mom tried very hard to make you a happy child and love you. and now its your turn to love her .and understand her feelings maybe try to talk with her again. i think its better than coming to a forum. but good luck to you both and happy new year!

[Raymond James]

So she plays the tambourine instead of the harmonica, big fucking deal, lots of people have dysfunctional mothers, yours just happens to enjoy lesbian sex with other women

[Calaba]

I pose but one question, would you tell her things about a breakup with a boyfriend?? Her sexuality has nothing to do with her parenting skills. She will always be your mother. You are lucky that the relationship you have with her is one she feels is honest an open. I don't understand the hurt part. If your hurt that she waited so long, you are young and being a parent she picked a time she felt suitable to tell you. Just talk to her. If she can tell you about being a lesbian you can tell her how all this made you feel.

[Luka]

Originally Posted by Star926

I am still confused at times because I wonder why she had me since she is a lesbian.

Maybe she thought it'd be best to have a 'normal' relationship back then with a man.
And now she can finally be happy in herself and live her life as a lesbian.
Remember, times were different back then, and homosexuality was not really out if you get my drift.
Also, your mother loves you, and you should not think less of her because of her sexuality. There are some people in this world who don't have a mother, and you shouldn't have a problem with her sexuality.
I can understand you being shocked, and that's normal; it will take time to get used to the idea, but she's still your mum and always will be.
Hope this helps, as you've got nothing to worry about. Talk to her and tell her you still love her no matter what.

[ladalang]

Originally Posted by Star926

Hi everyone,

If anyone has any advice I would be happy to hear it. I recently found out in late october that my mom is a Lesbian. For years I wondered if she was or not. Then she finally told my sister-in-law and she told me. At first I did not know how to handle it I was mad at my mom, then I was upset and confused. I am still confused at times because I wonder why she had me since she is a lesbian. She was with a lady for almost 20 years and then they broke up, and she talks to me about it but I feel weird about talking to my mom about her ex-girlfriend(s). My best friend that I met in high school is a lesbian and I love her to death, and she ask me if I loved my mom before and I said yes and she asked me if I still love my mom and I said yes. But as the days go on I wonder why???? why she had me, why she did not tell me sooner, just why on everything. If I am in the wrong forum I am sorry I am just trying to find a person who might be able to help me cope and understand this a little better. Happy New Year to All.

If you love your mom, you should be happy she is no longer living a lie. So she tried to live a straight life and it didn't make her happy. It isn't about you and her not wanting to be a mom. She's still the same person you always loved. You should be fair to her and love her and respect her choices like you would want her to do for you. I guess my question is so what she's a lesbian, why are you upset about it? She's the one that has to deal with people being evil. Don't miss out on the relationship and love of your mom because you are too immature to accept her choices. Stop being selfish and give her the support she needs.

[twinkle toez]

Originally Posted by Luka

Maybe she thought it'd be best to have a 'normal' relationship back then with a man.

And now she can finally be happy in herself and live her life as a lesbian.
Remember, times were different back then, and homosexuality was not really out if you get my drift.
Also, your mother loves you, and you should not think less of her because of her sexuality. There are some people in this world who don't have a mother, and you shouldn't have a problem with her sexuality.
I can understand you being shocked, and that's normal; it will take time to get used to the idea, but she's still your mum and always will be.
Hope this helps, as you've got nothing to worry about. Talk to her and tell her you still love her no matter what.

luka i read your response.....an i smiled sometimes you are so damn cute! and just you listen to the posts that you feel help girl (with les. mom)its normal for you to have all of the feelings that your haveing.time will bring a lil bit more clarity :kiss

[έχτίήčŦĩőŋ™]

Originally Posted by ladalang

If you love your mom, you should be happy she is no longer living a lie. So she tried to live a straight life and it didn't make her happy. It isn't about you and her not wanting to be a mom. She's still the same person you always loved. You should be fair to her and love her and respect her choices like you would want her to do for you. I guess my question is so what she's a lesbian, why are you upset about it? She's the one that has to deal with people being evil. Don't miss out on the relationship and love of your mom because you are too immature to accept her choices. Stop being selfish and give her the support she needs.

that is simuler to what i had said to him in his rep xD

[Beanie Girl]

I cant speak for your mom, but Im older and I am married and gay. Sometimes when you are younger its easier to push the fact that you are gay aside. Im not sure of her circumstances, but maybe she thought at the time that she was straight. Not everyone knows immediately that they are gay. They may suspect that they are but then life simply just happens. Getting married and having kids is the more accepted thing to do, and sometimes its easier to sacrifice your own happiness and make other people happy. Some women who are gay simply want a baby, they get married have the baby an then persue other relationships with women. The main thing is that she loves you and is a good mother, not if she is with a man or a woman.

[*+*(ButterFly)*+*]

People have different oppinions, It doesnt matter if your mom is gay or straight as long as she is happy thats all that should count